Finding out that your partner can read minds all along can be one of the most jarring things that anyone can experience. Because it would immediately make you more self-conscious and you’ll start sifting through your thoughts for the past days, weeks, months, and years, trying to remember if you had thought about something that could even have remotely piss them off.
Knowing that you’re basically an open book makes it even harder and if I’m being honest, it takes away one of the joys of being in a relationship. Somehow, this reminds me of a parent I met a few years back. She had a daughter who was gifted. As in, from a young age, the girl was very smart and she was also a good girl, basically making the job of parenting very easy for my friend.
She did all her homework herself, she learned how to bathe herself from a very young age… by the time she was five, she was sort of independent. In the sense that as long as there was food, water, and power in the house, the parents could trust her never to step a foot outside or do something that would hurt her. That was just how mature she was.
Her mother, my friend, once told me that this intelligence was taking some of the joys of being a new mother away from her. The special moments that mothers have with their kids, correcting them, teaching them, telling them about the tooth fairies and all that... hers were severely limited because her baby grew up way too fast. The questions the little girl asked were those that you had to think well before answering, because you knew she would see through whatever lie you told her. My friend loved her child; that was very clear. She also loved how smart she was. She was just sad that it made her need her less.
Why am I saying this? Because it sort of ties in to this idea of partners reading minds. It takes the joy of being in a relationship away from you. The little things that make such relationships enjoyable would be eliminated. One beautiful thing about being in love is that you have to be open with each other; you can’t keep secrets because they never end well. However, the true beauty is the fact that you choose to be open. You choose to share your secrets. It’s always your choice. That’s what makes it so significant.
The minute that choice is taken away, the beauty fades. There are couples who love gists so much. It’s basically their love language. At the end of the day, the rewind by gossiping about everything that happened to them. That bonding moment would be impossible if, with a simple look, your partner already knew everything that happened.
Every thought in your head, every suspicion, no matter how fleeting, will be transmitted. Even the ones that you don’t believe. As someone in a relationship, there are moments when unwelcome thoughts just come into your head. Maybe based on some conversation you have had, or a movie you watched. You could just, for a few seconds, think that your partner was cheating on you. This can be very brief. But then, the next second, you debunk the idea at once because you know how foolish it is. And so, you’d never tell your partner about it because it’s nothing mega. Just a random thought.
But to a mind reader, it won’t be. You’re gonna have to explain why such a thought is even in your head to begin with. As if you have control over the thoughts that come into your head. You only control the thoughts that stay in your head, because you decide what stays and what leaves.
Will this be a deal breaker for me? Hell yeah! Because it raises so many questions, is the love even real? If they could read my mind all the time, then they would have a handle on my personality and the kind of person I am. They know my specs and the things I look for in a partner. Were they manipulating me all this time? Using my thoughts as a way to set themselves up as the perfect partner? How will I know the love is real and they’re not just acting out what they know that I want?
So yeah, it would be a deal breaker. And if I knew beforehand, it would still be a deal breaker. Honestly, I don’t think I want to be in a relationship with a mind-reader. This is not because I plan to have secrets, no. However, I want to have a choice. I want to be the one to share the secrets, and I want to share them my way. Digging into my mind and reading it, it would all be subject to their interpretation, but when I tell my secrets, I tell them my way and in my time.
Like I said… choice is the spice of any relationship. The moment it’s taken away from you, then it’s something else entirely. And I won’t allow for that to happen.
No one is taking my choice.
