(Cover designed by me in canva editor)
Portada diseñada por mi en el editor de Canva
I usually participate very little in initiatives, but this one particularly caught my attention because of the theme, since it is true that we all have something that makes us uncomfortable in a certain way, for example in my case there are many things that make me uncomfortable: excessive noise, injustices, knowing that I have so many things that I would like to acquire for my house and I can't do it for lack of money, but above all it makes me uncomfortable when I feel that I am giving a lot of myself and still it doesn't seem to be enough, when I feel undervalued in any sense, but I am absolutely aware that the first one to undervalue myself is myself most of the time, and this is due to my almost inevitable perfectionism 🤦♀ Every time I set my mind to something or set a goal I am never satisfied, I feel I could be better, insecurity attacks me, so if I don't value my own effort how could I expect others to recognize it? It is simply a matter of changing your attitude and learning to value yourself more, and to let flow what you cannot control. Sounds easy, doesn't it, but it's easier said than done.
Sometimes I look back and it usually makes me uncomfortable to discover that I am not even close to what I once dreamed of becoming, that the achievements I have made seem insignificant because they do not match what I really dreamed they would be, but I understand perfectly that God's timing is perfect, as my mom always says, so if something is meant for me it will be and if it is not meant for me it will simply pass by in my life without me being able to avoid it. However, obviously I am grateful for the learning that I have obtained in life and that also comes from failures, from that born imperfection that defines us, that is why we can seek to improve, to better ourselves every day but we can never expect to be perfect because perfection does not exist.
However, reading my friend @charjaim I find interesting what she says about having that necessary strength that forces us to stand up and make decisions that could change our course, that also reminds me of the book "La Culpa es de la Vaca" (those who have read it will understand what I mean) but I myself experienced something similar, for example years ago I worked as a seamstress in a company where they gradually began to ignore my work and that of my colleagues, although we started as a small company we ended up in a much larger one, but my bosses said they did not owe us anything, that what we had done did not deserve recognition, there were never any salary increases, in fact it took them an awful long time to pay us every two weeks and so they gradually violated our rights one by one, to top it off we were in the midst of a shortage of supplies in the country, so leaving was quite a risky decision because although it was very little and they paid late, at least I had a fixed salary, but although it was not easy I opted for my peace of mind and my dignity, I decided to leave, and thank God a few days later they called me from another job where I was significantly better off.
Later taking the decision to start on my own as a freelancer after losing my job in the middle of the pandemic when I got the Covid virus was not easy either, I no longer receive a fixed salary and sometimes the uncertainty arises (another great discomfort) but undoubtedly I appreciate having time for me, to do what I like and makes me happy, and also at other times I do super well and then I can play with time and savings, and honestly in that sense I can not complain, so it is true, sometimes we must risk and generate a change, especially when we feel that we are reaching the limit, that is a cry for help from our mind and our body, when it tells us that a certain situation is no longer tolerable and we feel we must get out of there.
And well friends, I hope I have not made you uncomfortable with my complaints about myself 😅 but they are my most sincere feelings and it is also a form of venting and reflection. Thank you so much to everyone who has read me, I send many blessings to all of you. I would like to invite my sister @bethyjade and my friend @eugemaradona.
(Image designed by me in canva editor)
Imagen diseñada por mi en el editor de Canva.
Todas las imágenes de este post son de mi propiedad, las tomé con un teléfono celular ZTE Blade A51.
